Your Frame of Reference and How it Affects Your Energetic Congruency

Partner Up workshop Logo depicting a horse and human head touching at the forehead with the words Trust, Honesty, Acceptance and Willingness inside a magical crystal ball
Frame of reference and judgement a picture of 2 black horses greeting one anohter wiht a picture of a human superimposed

What is frame of reference and energetic congruency?

Let’s start with my explanation of energetic congruency. Energetic congruency is the art of being in heightened awareness, suspended from all judgment, agendas, and existing in the moment. In this place you are able to truly feel, sense and communicate on an energetic level which allows others (humans, horses etc.) to feel safe, heard, understood and felt. Energetic congruency is a magical place where connection is felt. It can be fleeting or lasting.

Sounds pretty cool ….it is….and this article is all about how you can move yourself towards this magical place.

The first step is the willingness to be totally honest with yourself and take a deep look inside. Acknowledging who you are and what you bring to the table, all of it, the good, bad and the ugly with no judgment. None! Judgment cannot and does not exist in energetic congruency EVER! You must be willing to accept yourself as you are, while understanding that you are fluid moment by moment, which allows you to move from where you are to where you want to go with no judgment only kindness and acceptance.

Existing in the moment is also a pretty special place because it allows you to fully experience each and every moment in its entirety, all of it, but as each moment passes as each new moment arrives, so does the experience of that moment! This is pretty profound as it means you do not carry any baggage to the next moment, as there is no place or room for judgment, blame, fears or failure.

In essence you have an amazing safe place to grow, learn and explore yourself and all that is around you. This provides the opportunity to start anew with each and every moment as we dedicate ourselves to becoming the best we are able to be. 

The work to achieving energetic congruency is ongoing, there are no shortcuts and there is no end in sight. It requires you to give honest, dedicated effort even when it feels useless.

Judgment is the biggest block to overcome. At any point, judgment is fully capable of shutting off your energetic congruency. Kind of like shutting off a tap.

There are many reasons why judgment is so ingrained and prevalent in our lives.

  1. Your frame of reference (unconscious mind). This super powerful mechanism is designed to keep you “safe” and belonging to society.
  2. Methodology of sorts of measurement. Value based on external measures. What do you do vs who are you.
  3. The logical part of our brain. Places reason over feeling and a need to understand rather than just feel.

Arguably, the last 2 can be said to be a part of your frame of reference, and that would be true.

To delve into your frame of reference below I am going to lead on from a grouse and then a horses perspective.

As you move forward through this section it is my hopes that you will begin to see/feel how powerful the 3 points are above and how in many cases how they prevent/limit you from getting to where you want to go.

Firstly, though it is important to understand that your horse is energetically congruent. They are masters of energetic congruency. They understand energetic congruency completely and it is their language. This is the place of connection.

When you are spending time with your horse you are also sharing in their energy field which is up to 10 times more powerful than ours. The horse’s true energetic congruency influences yours and thus you feel peaceful, content, anxiety dissipates. This is a wonderful opportunity to explore yourself. The next time you spend time with your horse, check in with yourself, and rummage around a little or a lot.

If you are to get on the same level with your horse regarding energetic congruency you need to suspend the judgment created from your frame of reference.

What does your frame of reference have to do with horses? Everything!! A person’s frame of reference determines what information is relevant and whether or not that information has value or merit. This process happens subconsciously and most often the person has no awareness of this occurring or the limits to learning that their frame of reference brings.

A person’s frame of reference can also be called the lens of the subconscious mind as it controls how you act and respond to the world around you. Your subconscious mind process   around 11 billion bits per second while the conscious mind only processes 100,000 per second. Its sole purpose is to keep you safe and in your comfort zone.

There is safety in large groups and belonging and in a nutshell that is why if some cool idolized superstar wears bangles, soon there are a lot of people wearing bangles. The more people you see wearing bangles, the more likely you will be to wear bangles even though you have no idea how this started in the first place.

Another example, may be a grouse and how its behavior is interpreted. The grouse does not move as you drive your vehicle towards it. In fact, it does not move and you run over it. Running over it may not be your finest moment, but to reconcile the event, your frame of reference dictates that the grouse is stupid. And perhaps, you may even think stupid things deserve to die. So now, you have reconciled your behavior to be okay and taken away any thought as to why did the grouse stand still and allow you to run over it. It has become solely the fault of the grouse and you hold no responsibility for the behavior of the grouse.

Now let’s look at how we keep horses. A common sight that we see often are horses eating from a round bale of hay. The hay may be grass or a grass/alfalfa mix. Small pens or paddocks with no vegetation. Manure being picked, Depending on where you live, blankets or rain sheets. Barns, stalls, arenas, round pens etc. Every horse magazine tells you what to feed, what to wear, etc with every full page advertisement.

Most everyone I have ever met has a strong desire to do the best for their horse. Rest assured your subconscious mind is taking everything in that you see that reaffirms what good ownership looks like, so that you can replicate and be affiliated with others. Your frame of reference tells you that you fit in and are doing everything that the best of the best horse owners do. Your frame of reference is so strong and running so fierce in the background that you never actually think about or question any of the current accepted methods of horse care that I have used as an example below.

The more you become aware of your frame of reference, and the better you get at throwing it in the backseat, the more you will be receptive and open to looking at things from a horse’s perspective.  As you read the following questions if you find yourself getting angry, defensive or devaluing, your frame of reference is hard at work and preventing you from thinking outside of your comfort zone..

  1. Did a horse evolve to eat off a round bale? Why do we think this is a good idea?
  2. Was a horse able to eat alfalfa, corn, oats, sugar, peas, beet pulp, camelina oil, etc while roaming free and evolving into the horse we now know today? Why do we think this is good practice? With no gall bladder how does the horse handle oil?
  3. How many miles a day does the feral/wild horse travel to feed? Why do we not ensure our horse’s get the same amount of exercise?
  4. Did horses evolve living in a dirt environment with restricted feed? Why do we think this is okay?
  5. Why do horses experience so many “problems” that need to be fixed? Why is it okay to focus on fixing the horse but not ourselves?
  6. Why am I so sure I am not the problem? Why am I right and everyone else with a different view wrong? Why is it so difficult to stand up to the plate and accept my authenticity and who I am?

I hope that now you are getting an idea how powerful our unconscious mind A.K.A our frame of reference and how it may be preventing you from getting to where you want to go.

I found this post written by Dark Horse Metaphysics to be thought provoking.

DARK HORSE Metaphysics

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Why We Want It to Be Us, and Not Them:

If I am working on a horse, or talking to people about energy work, and I discuss this topic, the first thing someone might ask me is “Why do we want it to be our fault? Wouldn’t it be better if it was the horse’s fault?”

Now, we need to define what “fault” is. In my practice, “fault” is the aggressor. The one at fault is the one percieved to be causing the problematic interactions between horse and human. Before I am introduced to a new client the one at “fault” is the horse. In the client’s mind, they have done everything they can to rectify the bad situation they find themselves in with their equine.

They have tried all the modalities: vet work, chiropractic, massage therapy, PEMF, training, dietary changes, tack changes – everything has been attempted at least once. As horse people, we know that we have a long list of “Have you tried…?” boxes to check. And when we seek Facebook’s advice, we also know those boxes better be checked because someone will be asking us to review them.

The problem then becomes… what if all those boxes are checked – sometimes repeatedly – and I am seeing no improvements in my horse? What if things got worse? What if things got better for a bit, but they never stay better?

Each modality treats a different part of the horse, but the modalities I am mentioning treat PHYSICAL problems. Massage manages muscles. Chiro manages osteo issues. Vet work manages the physiology of the horse. Training manages body control and the ability to hand it over to someone else(sometimes training manages the mind, depending on the trainer’s philosophy). These things are taking care of the external issues such as lameness, soreness, sickness, etc.

But what do you do when the problem ISN’T the problem?

I tell my clients all the time: if it has not worked, or is not working, the problem it is managing probably isn’t the core root of their issues.

Almost always the problem comes from the human’s expectations and perception of the horse’s relationship with them.

Here is the dichotomy:

1. If it is THEM, then the theory is money can fix it. If you throw money at the problem in the form of vet work, chiro, massage, supplements, training, etc, SURELY the horse will improve? If the problem was the HORSE, people would not be calling me.

2. If the problem is YOU, the only medication your horse needs is changes in the relationship. This is nearly free. This costs no money but it does cost your ego. To change yourself means to acknowledge that you have caused something in the relationship to break down, and it requires DEDICATION to uncover where the dysfunction is and fix it for good.

The problem is many people don’t want to change themselves. It would be better if they weren’t the source of their horse’s problems, whatever they may be. Sometimes it’s due to pride, sometimes it’s due to existing feelings of inadequacy, sometimes it’s due to ignorance that they have something to work on.

But the horse always suffers in these sorts of relationships, and the problems will continue despite what is physically done to help the horse because the problem was NEVER the body.

It was the soul.

And if the soul is broken, there is no shot or pill or incture or herb or poultice or tack piece of training method or injection that can heal your horse.

The only thing that heals the soul is love. TRUE love. Love that has no expectations. Love that is what we call Agape – eternal.

When my clients find ways to love their horses as they are, that is when the energy work begins to manifest. When clients can accept the situation for what it is, right now, if it never changed, that is when the horse is willing to take steps towards healing. That is when true love can find its way, and that is when the physical problems, the behavioral problems, the training problems…

They all go away.

I have seen it over and over. I have clients call me all the time in tears, amazed that the horse who would buck them off whenever they rode them, who would kick them when they tried to come close, who was so lame that the vets gave up trying to inject them, has healed. Suddenly these are the horses that the humans always dreamed they could be.

So I ask you. I beg you, even.

Let it be your fault. Allow yourself to accept you could be the cause.

It is so easy to fix you. It is almost impossible to fix the horse. And once you can find a way to heal yourself, your horse will always follow.